I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize