yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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