I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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