the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
