I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
