With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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