I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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