The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you didnt know i had herpes?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
40s are totally the cure
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
