Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
