I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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