bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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