drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
