ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He felt like a one man threesome
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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