did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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