If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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