You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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