1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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