i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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