He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
