i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have post one night stand depression
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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