on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
