I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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