So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
