508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
