is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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