i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
