Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
