Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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