Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
