Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
