i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
