Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
