Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
