Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
