I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
