Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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