The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
