whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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