I just pynch a tree in the face
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
