yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
