The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
