i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dignity is for republicans.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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