Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
