just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
