Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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