Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
