yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
