sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
