i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
