All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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