I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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