i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
