i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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