Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
