Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
