What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
