I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
